Managing Workplace Bullying

Workplace bullying is the malicious and repeated mistreatment of a staff member that is simply driven by the bully’s desire to control.  Bullying encompasses all types of mistreatment at work and a bully can be both women and men, who bully other women and men of all ages and races within the workplace.

Workplace bullying can destroy lives, careers and health and safety within the workplace.  It can also ruin an employer’s reputation and reduce the retention of skilled employees, so it is a problem for both the employer and the recipient of the bullying.

If you are regularly the recipient of unreasonable job demands, threats of job loss, insults and put-downs, exclusions, yelling and screaming, the stealing of credit, inconsistent compliance with rules, and blame for errors you did not make, it is highly likely that you are a victim of bullying.

Below are our suggestions on ways to confront the situation and the bully at work.

Get support from family and friends before you confront the bully

Confronting a bully can be a highly stressful, so it is important before you go down this path that you seek outside help and support.  Start with your family and friends and let them know what is happening.  The less secretive you are, the less of a burden it will be on your sense of self and capacity to manage the stress.

Start searching for a new job

Although you might not want to move jobs, if you have other opportunities in the pipeline, it is less likely that you will stress out about confronting the bully and it will give you a greater sense of power, if confronting the bully does not go quite go to plan.

Consult your GP or other health professionals

Bullying can affect your health with symptoms including anxiety, lack of focus, loss of appetite, decreased sex drive and lack of sleep.  Chronic stress as a result of bullying – is a real health condition, so seek medical or psychological help (or both).

Get witness statements and prepare a comprehensive case

Before you confront the bully, start compiling evidence of the bullying behaviour.  If possible get witness statements from work colleagues and record everything in writing.  The more evidence that you have, the easier it will be to confront the bully.

It is now time to prepare a case.  Has the bully broken any organisation rules, sexually harassed you (which is against the law).  Make sure you record everything in writing and depersonalise the record, so that it is factual, NOT emotional.

OK – now that you have done the groundwork, gained support and gathered evidence, now it is the time to confront the bully.  This will be very difficult, in particular if you are not the type of person who enjoys confrontation.

Confronting the bully

When confronting a bully, experts suggest that you do this behind closed doors, but with a tape recorder.  It is also essential to prepare what you want to say and be fearless.  Remember, bullies thrive on fear and control.  By coming across as fearless, you will deprive the bully of their ultimate weapon of control.

(It is vital to prepare yourself as fearless, as it is highly likely that the bully will try to intimate, yell, lie, threaten, or weasel themselves out of the situation – which is why a tape recorder is always a good idea.)

File an internal complaint

If confronting the bully does not work, (that is their behaviour does not change), now is the time to file an internal complaint.  Not all organisations treat complainants well and the system in its very nature is adversarial.  You also need to realise that you might end up loosing and unless you have loads of strategic alliances in key positions, you even risk losing your reputation and credibility.  (Remember, many bullies are very effective net-workers, with the capacity to ‘suck up to the boss’).

While, this all sounds quite risky, remember, if you have a job search in process, have relevant support from family and friends, confronting a bully might be a fight worth having.  Many ‘victims’ of bullying report that it is vital to fight back from the beginning, to realise that the bully is really a coward and that it is OK to not take ‘any kind of nonsense from anyone’.